Dewback_droppings Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 I told the wife that I am getting into the costuming biz and I ran into a bit of a snag!She is a very understanding person and knows that I am already a bit odd, but she is having a hard time wrapping her brain around this one. She finds it hard to understand why I would dress up as a Stormie. What do you do in it? Are you gonna be one of those people that goes to conventions? Why spend all of your money on something that will be used once a year at Halloween? And a thousand other questions just like that! I tried to share with her some insight into my life and the sheer coolness of the Stormtrooper uniform, but she still doesn't get it. She is really upset over this. She feels that this will be something that I could not relate to her and we will grow apart due to any misunderstanding that this will cause. If this sounds odd to you, how the **** do you think it makes me feels?! I can't quite get my point across and this is seriously putting a cramp on my plans to be a Stormie. Any of you ladies out there willing to share some insight into this that may help my wife come to an understanding about this??I am so desperate here! I really need some serious help to help resolve this issue. It has really upset her because she can't relate to all of this and she is really afraid of this being something that will change the status quo around the house. We used to have some serious marital problems in the past due to our inability to communicate about things and we felt very isolated with our lives simply because one could not understand what the other was doing and why. That has been 6 years ago and she feels as if this is another thing that we won't be able to share and this will lead to the isolation again. Like I said, if this all seems odd, I am just as confused as you are. I don't see any problem with it all, but then again, I am in the eye of the storm and I need a little fresh perspective on the matter. I'm in a Catch 22 situation here. I stop with my plans to be a Stormie and then she becomes the bad guy by telling me that I can't follow a dream or I continue on with the dream and I am insensitive to my wife and I keep her in a state of unease and worry. I need help. I need something that is going to help her understand why troopers get together and do the things that they do. Give me a little of your reasons for why you do what you do. Maybe something in there will aid me in helping her to understand why I want to do this. Everything that I have said so far has not seemed to get my point across. I am truly at an end and I turn to you for help. To quote that rebel chick, "You're my only hope!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tk-686 Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 WOW! thats a tough one dude! well, maybe you should just reassure her that its just a fun hobbie, that: 1. gives you a creative outlet and 2. can have a good impact on your comunity, like all the charity work we do being part of the 501st. you can even show her the garrison websites so she gets an impression of what we're about. and if shes so worried about not sharing, well ****...why not get her involved! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD257 Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Try to include her in as much of this endeavor as you can. My wife attends some events with me in the indispensible role of "trooper handler". She volunteers to hold things, take pictures, and performs the crucial "costume check". She also loves to watch the reaction we get from people...especially kids. Assure her that you won't be attending every event in your garrison and you won't be ignoring her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamatrooper Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Hmm.. 1. Its a hobby like golf/hunting etc.. A set of armor is cheaper than a set of golf clubs and membership dues, cheaper than hunting club memberships....etc.... 2. Its not a convention hopping group... there is stuff to do a couple of times a month if you look for it. 3. Despite what you may think, this particular group is way different than most 'steriotypical' "sci-fi" groups. Once you spend time here, you'll find a lot of professional suburban families here, 2.4 kids a dog, etc.. 4. ITs a family group. Most of our wives and kids enjoy the hobby along with us.... its not somethign you go do and leave her at home.... 5. 2 out of 3 events we do are charity events or kids events.... 6. Have her watch the trailer to the upcoming documentary onthe 501st .. Http:heartofanempire.com 7. Just becasue you don't have a costume yet doesn't mean you can't go out and participate with your local 501st garrison.. we always need handlers and spotters, etc.. its the best way to intrduce yourself to the group, and let others liek you wife and friends spend time where they can see what it is your so excited about. 8. Show her pictures of charity events and kids events on the web from 501st garriosn websites...My garrison's site is http:501stso.com for example.. You have to approach it as a hobby.. go out and help with a few events wiht your local garrison. look for events where your wife will see the better parts of what we do. conventions are only for the strong stomach... there are sooo many freaks and geeks that you will have a hard time tryng to convince anyone new that this isn't the kind of crowd in the majority of a group like the 501st..... Hope that helps... -Bamatrooper TD-152 MEPD-DL Southern Outpost CO 501st Legion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Femsandtrooper Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I convinced my friends with the trailer from Heartoftheempire.com It helps, it will help explain who we are and what we do, thats really tough. Luckly I found my mate in a bar wearing a Vader shirt, and Transformer tattoos. Its just a trailer but **** if it doesnt make me tear up every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SethB6025 Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Not sure if this will help, but I'll throw in my two cents anyway. My wife doesn't like star wars. (GASP!) Okay, no biggie she also is completely turned off by the whole dressing up as a stormtrooper thing (GAAASSSP!) she refers to events as "nerd gatherings" or "going dorking" (okay, that's a little funny). You get the point. Ultimately this is one interest we do not share. I try to "tone it down" around her. We have a good relationship, but we each have a couple of interests the other doesn't care for. Perhaps your wife thinks you'll be spending every night in the garage working on armor, or every weekend at events or cons. Maybe putting it into perspective would help. Most people go weeks, sometimes months at a time without trooping or working on their costumes. She might be afraid this will be an all-consuming hobby for you. Also, is it necessary for her to be into it? If you don't go nuts 24/7 about it, maybe it will seem like a small thing, no big deal. I can see you don't want to cause a rift, and that she doesn't want to stifle your perspective hobby. Definately a sticky wicket. Perhaps a round of "rock, paper, scissors" could settle things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD-1536 Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Nothing you tell her will make a difference. She will never equate your happiness to a dollar value. In her mind, money is just better spent on something else... most likely something more practical. In short, it sounds as if your marriage choice left you with fewer choices in 'your' life. That's why I'm not married nor wish to be... call me selfish, but I'm taken by me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD257 Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 It also helps to specifically identify the core issue...money, time, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abntroop Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 Hmm.. there are sooo many freaks and geeks that you will have a hard time tryng to convince anyone new that this isn't the kind of crowd in the majority of a group like the 501st..... Hope that helps... -Bamatrooper TD-152 MEPD-DL Southern Outpost CO 501st Legion Hey now, let's keep this from getting personal! what's wrong with us freaks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamatrooper Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Mathew, Just keep your Helmet on and no one will know the difference !! -Bamatrooper TD-152 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abntroop Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 LOL!! God, I wish lifes solutions were always that easy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roman_imperial Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Alright let me try to help. I will be honest here, so please do not take offense. It sounds you may have your work cut out for you. She seems to have it already set in her mind that this is bad thing. I am not saying it is hopeless, but be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. I think maybe if you could get her to go to one event to see what it really is, that might just be enough. I am sooo looking forward to getting my clone armor and putting it all together! Tell her that there are women who do these things with their others and have fun at it(me being one). She doesn't have to stay on the sidelines unless she wants to. It would open a whole new world for her and you. She may find it is just what you both need to help improve your marriage (if that's what it needs) not harm it. PM me if you wish and I will talk at her myself, if that would help any. I think it would be a shame for your dream not to come true and her to miss out on a fun and wonderful thing such as this. There is way to much bad stuff in the world now, so never miss a chance to partake in the good stuff. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motman241 Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Well, does she know you're a Star Wars fan? If so, then this is the next step, AND the epitome of fandom. Like someone's sig line "Some kids dream of being stormtroopers. Now, some of us ARE." My girlfriend doesn't like Star Wars as much as me or my friends, but she understands the costuming thing, and can support that. It's MY thing to do. She's got her own "private" things to do, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tk432 Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 oo who can forget the classic sig line.. Course, now i can even use Some of us dreamed of being Darth Vader. Well, A few of us made it. I wish you well, i know trooping has changed my life. i have meet some VERY cool people. Im not married nor do i have a girl friend.. but my number one requirement will be having a openmind, to the point that im a geek.. and there is no going back now.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TK_6873 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 My words to live by, "Happy Wife, Happy Life" and "What she don't know won't hurt me" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpbasso Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 "But when she finds out it will hurt even more." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamatrooper Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 If you're lucky, you can convert her to the Darkside! Meet my "Admiral" ! -Bamatrooper TD-152 MEPD-DL SO-CO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dewback_droppings Posted February 2, 2005 Author Share Posted February 2, 2005 You lucky *******!...............(only kidding!) Not that you are lucky, but just that you are a *******. Man, that came out all wrong!............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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