Life is strange

[Rolf]

Hi sandy bro´s around the world, i have not been on the forum much...

and heres why.

My wife have left me, and my 1 year old son Sylvester.

Her reason is:

Well she thinks it was too boring, the way we was together as a family.

In my world, its a time we all have to go through whit a new born, when you put a new child into this world.

Then its your child there is the most important thing in the world... Period!!!, no questions asked.

But not in her book, so now she´s gone, out and party and have fun (she´s around 10 years younger then me).

She left us the 25-05-2010, and will not come back as it looks for now.

Even i have been trying to talk some sense into her, nothing works.

I have been taken care of my son here, even its her there get the pay check from the danish government to take care of our son to november 2010.

As its now, i doubt she will come back, even i hope she will wake up, and see what she is about to destroy for life for all 3 of us.

I have been really down and hit hard, but starting to pulling my self up.

And will start doing stuff i like to do, to find the meaning of life and joy again in my life.

Ssoo i was thinking, i might wanna fly around the world, and visit my sandtrooper bro´s.

Maybe just one country, one state, but maybe more.

So if i can stay at your place for some time, and do what we do best, having a good time, let me know.

Troop on, a true TD never go down

[FIVE]

I'm so sorry to hear all this man.

You are in my thoughts and prayers every day during this hard time!

And you know you're welcome here brother! If you come during October you could ride with us to Missouri from New Mexico and attend our Halloween party.

If you come some other time that's fine too. We'll hang out and relax and eat green chile.

[TK412]

Dude! sorry to hear about this. Hopefully she will come to her senses and realized what she did. That's a pretty big difference in age. It works for some people, but not others.

There is a big celebration thats going to happen in August here in the States. Star Wars celebration. That could be your first stop.

Turo

[td7603]

me and my wife are 8 years apart, with a baby on the way...

i'm sorry to hear this and i guess some people really dont have priorities at all.

I would haev a few choice words with her, but i'm sure youve been down that path.

But we, here, are a strange family. we take care of our own.

we're here for you brother!

[Hawkeye]

Let me know if you're ever thinking of stopping into Canada.

I'm in Toronto & I'm sure we'd find room for a Sandy brother in for a visit.

[DirtyBoy]

My fiance and I are 14 years apart and just had our first baby together. Things are good as we have been together for 5 years. My house is totally open bro....Im in CT and would love to have you stay....Im dead center between Boston and New york plus we are located on the shoreline...10 min walk to the ocean .

[Gordonator]

Be strong brother! Traveling around the world is cool, I wish I can do that too. It enriches one's mind. Hey who knows, maybe you will find someone special? Take care my friend!

[Daetrin]

Hang in there Rolf! You are right that the child should always take priority. My friends said you basically go in to a cave for a bunch of years and they are right. You cannot have it both ways - party and kids - something gives.

For you, the #1 thing is to be strong for your son. He needs a man in his life and someone to care for him. With her gone, that means you. This hobby will always be here later if need be.

Raising a child alone is tough but can be done. Honestly it's best she go than stay reluctantly and fight all the time. Kids need stability and love, and if she cannot provide it, best she's gone though it's a hole in your heart.

But it will heal. Learn to invest in your relationship with your son. It's hard to imagine now, but time will fly fast and soon you and him will be doing all kinds of cool boy stuff together. Just a few years to wait - it's a small price to pay and goes fast.

Chin up my friend - life will get better soon.

[TD-7620]

Very sorry to hear this, Rolf.

To be honest though, I can't believe she actually left her child?! No mother would normally do that! This maybe shows her character better than anything else.

My thoughts are with you, brother! Let me know if there's anything I or all of us can do.

[Short TRooper]

I cannot fathom what you wrote on here...a mother leaving her husband and child to party?????

I cannot imagine leaving my two girls...the pain would probably kill me alone with not being near my girls...

I agree with Daetrin, make a relationship with your son first and help him live a stable life. Then do the stuff for yourself later.

I had to do that with my two girls when they were little and my ex husband walked out telling me he didn't want to be married any more. :o

I hope your wife comes to her senses and sees her way of thinking is wrong and comes back.

I will pray for you!!!

Short Trooper (Diana)

[Scarbucket]

Rolf,sorry to hear about this.I absolutely agree with what your sandie brothers and sisters say.

My two children are my life.PERIOD.They make my life whole,complete-you know what I am talking about-because you are a good,responsible parent.The damage left by leaving a child is almost irreparable.You are doing the right thing and as Sylvester grows up you will realize this.Hang in there,Trooper. Dave

[FIVE]

Learn to invest in your relationship with your son. It's hard to imagine now, but time will fly fast and soon you and him will be doing all kinds of cool boy stuff together. Just a few years to wait - it's a small price to pay and goes fast.

Chin up my friend - life will get better soon.

Very well said brother!

[iconoclasta_88]

My dear brother,

I can just say: stay strong, try to be positive, and put your best on being the best possible father/man for sylvester and for yourself.

As I told you before, all my good vibes are with you and your son!

And we will be here if you need us!

In the meantime... un abrazo fuerte!

your friend,

Juan

PS. If your trips ever bring you to Mexico City, you will always have a place to stay.

[Robster]

Rolf you are my bro and are ALWAYS WELCOME here my man!i am very sorry to hear about your hard time!keep your head up and do what you do best!WE would love to see you bro!

[Dewback Jockey]

Well this is sad indeed but you are a father now and nothing can take that away... I had a rough time with my wife just after my daughter was born with the post birth depression stuff also. But I will never leave my child. You are welcome here friend and cheers for hanging in there.... Not to mention you get to look forward to this stuff.

[Daetrin]

Right on James. No matter **** and back, I'd *never* abandon my children.

[TD2802]

Life is strange Rolf and I'm really sorry to hear what's happened to your young family. For some people parenthood is the most daunting task they'll ever face and only realize too late that they're not cut out for it. The one who suffers of course is the child especially if that parent leaves. And yes, bonding with your son is more important than ever now; we're all MEPD bros here but in my world, armor and legion activities take a backseat to engaging with my kids. It could be something as simple as a game of catch, building kits together, or going camping. The dividends far outweigh any investment in time to my own pursuits and your life is actually enriched by their presence. Providing them a happy childhood as a loving parent is the most important thing in the world to me now and I wouldn't have it any other way.

If you're ever in the Seattle area, just LMK. Maybe you could hook up with me and Daetrin.

Cheers.

[Rolf]

Thanks for all your great support messages my friends, around the world.

I´m hit badly here...

But i´m about to pull my self up, i can slowly see how much i have done for her, and its still not good enough.

I guess it would never be, no matter what i did for her.

As its now, the young girl have grow into a new older woman, cold and selfish, and i don´t know her any more.

My guess, she got a depression, but she say that she don´t have any thing like that.

She used to be happy, and fun to be around whit, lots of positive energy, now she´s cold and evil.

I hope she wakes up, and we both have some energy for putting our family back together if she comes back.

But as my local danish friends says to me, be there for your son, and be there for your self.

If she comes, she comes, but you have to be strong, and let go of her, as you can´t force her to any thing any way.

I´m willing to give it a shot, now we are married, and have a kid to fight for.

But i can´t do it alone, its her call too.

Lets see if she still thinks its more cool, fun, party a like, to be a single mom, then to be a family.

As long as she´s a good mom, and person to me, she can party, go to cafes whit her friends as much as she likes.

What more can she ask for...

Thanks to: Noel, Luke, Rick, Juan, Rob, James, Jens, Brian for the open door, i might take your offer.

Love to you all from here.

Rolf

[6170]

Stay strong brother!

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you are right the only person you can change if yourself. Your wife seems to be having a sort of crisis but your child should come 1st think of the environment that you want him to grow up in first and foremost.

I am blessed with two wonderful little children and would gladly lay my life down for them.

I hope that time will give your wife clarity but you can not depend on her to do the right thing, life is weird that way sometimes things just don't ever get fixed despite how much we want them to.

You are a stong man and you have your brothers here who care about you.

Like I said I am a father and you are always welcomed to PM me any questions about rasing kids anytime. I will more then gladly give you my phone number that you can call when ever on skype if you want it PM me.

If you do decide to travel.. I live in San Diego, Ca home to Comic Con and just 90 miles from Disneyland.... you are welcomed at my house.

MEPD = band of brother

PS do not worry about us and posting on here. You go take care of you and we will always be here when you get back.

[Rolf]

Thanks bro, you are a true brother, i might say yes to your support offer.

When i know whats up, and whats down in this world.

I´m a ok strong/cool headed guy, and i will find a meaning full life through this mess.

And be there for my son all the way, even i guess i will have to share him.

One week at my place, one week whit he´s mom.

But when he´s whit me, he will loved 100%.

[kenthork]

** my god!

i really sorry for you rolf.

i know it is a really difficult period, a big trouble period.

i say that because i'm in the same situation...

I'm not used to expose my private life in general, but I think this could perhaps help you and see that you are not alone in a difficult situation.

my trouble begins the 1st february 2010.

my wife (We were together for 13 years) told me that it was over between us and she was leaving with someone other... just imagine the shock!!!

i was in a black period in few weeks, I lost 10 pounds, i re smoked and begin to drink a bit too much.

During this time I had an accident with wife car, Luckily I was not hurt but I had him repay his car (completely destroyed) and buy a new car for me. My bank account is in also in a trouble. happily my parents are with me for helping.

besides all that I've accumulated other problems, Orde private, it was a real period of what is name bad luck!!!!!

imagine my situation just after these...

no motivation for nothing... for job, for go out, for hobby, i try to continue my new TD project but not really with envy, i try to go on these forum a maximum but less and less.

star wars passion was also on the side, i had try to continue to motive on it but is not really easy, i had gone on events but just to hide my sadness.

today i'm ok, i just smoked again and not have again take pounds, but i'm in progress.

I do not really know my future now, what is certain is that I will have to sell our big house where I did a lot of work for full one year, all to rent a tiny apartment ...

happilly i have a job, friends, familly, and i'm stronger day to day.

today I live life day one day. not the choice...

the house will be for sale in many days or weeks, and a new life will be begins for me.

i can imagine what is your situation, do not let go, i know it is not easy but try to see what is the best in the life.

I believe in fate, I believe that every thing is written, and that every thing good or bad is a test of life.

today if I could change things, I would not do it, because it changed me, it changed my outlook on life, the essential things in life, and it made me stronger.

I hope very sincerely that you will get out, try to overcome one day at a time.

I hope I can also help you if you need it, you will be welcome at home, if you decide to do a quick turn by France.

if you need to speak don't hesite to PM me, it will really happy to can speak with you if you need.

courage my brother. courage!

+++

Jérôme

[TD-1536]

I read this last night and was heartbroken for you... I literally wept with sadness.

If you're ever in the Washington DC area, give me a call and I'll show you the town.

[padde]

Hey bro,

as I wrote before, hang in there and do not let the sadness overwhelm you!

You are a good person and a loving dad, that is thte most important thing - and as you can see from this thread, there are many troopers out there with support and care; you are not alone!

All the best

your friend Patrick

[Rolf]

** my god!

i really sorry for you rolf.

i know it is a really difficult period, a big trouble period.

i say that because i'm in the same situation...

I'm not used to expose my private life in general, but I think this could perhaps help you and see that you are not alone in a difficult situation.

my trouble begins the 1st february 2010.

my wife (We were together for 13 years) told me that it was over between us and she was leaving with someone other... just imagine the shock!!!

i was in a black period in few weeks, I lost 10 pounds, i re smoked and begin to drink a bit too much.

During this time I had an accident with wife car, Luckily I was not hurt but I had him repay his car (completely destroyed) and buy a new car for me. My bank account is in also in a trouble. happily my parents are with me for helping.

besides all that I've accumulated other problems, Orde private, it was a real period of what is name bad luck!!!!!

imagine my situation just after these...

no motivation for nothing... for job, for go out, for hobby, i try to continue my new TD project but not really with envy, i try to go on these forum a maximum but less and less.

star wars passion was also on the side, i had try to continue to motive on it but is not really easy, i had gone on events but just to hide my sadness.

today i'm ok, i just smoked again and not have again take pounds, but i'm in progress.

I do not really know my future now, what is certain is that I will have to sell our big house where I did a lot of work for full one year, all to rent a tiny apartment ...

happilly i have a job, friends, familly, and i'm stronger day to day.

today I live life day one day. not the choice...

the house will be for sale in many days or weeks, and a new life will be begins for me.

i can imagine what is your situation, do not let go, i know it is not easy but try to see what is the best in the life.

I believe in fate, I believe that every thing is written, and that every thing good or bad is a test of life.

today if I could change things, I would not do it, because it changed me, it changed my outlook on life, the essential things in life, and it made me stronger.

I hope very sincerely that you will get out, try to overcome one day at a time.

I hope I can also help you if you need it, you will be welcome at home, if you decide to do a quick turn by France.

if you need to speak don't hesite to PM me, it will really happy to can speak with you if you need.

courage my brother. courage!

+++

Jérôme

Thanks for your open heart my friend.

I feel your pain too, its a mess, and sounds like you are in a bad spot too bro.

But life have to go on, and we have to find a way to enjoy life again.

Personal i´m sad, because my dream about being a family is broken, and it was my biggest dream in life.

Because my mom and dad broke up too, when i was around my son age too.

And **** i hate it!!!, its so painful, and he´s the best and perfect kid, and do not deserve this.

So my problems: Divorce, find out how to share my son whit her... not he best times, but i have to move on for he´s sake.

Only one good thing, i do not love my wife as before, so now i just have to take care of my son, and get back on track.

Let keep the contact Jerome.

[Rolf]

I read this last night and was heartbroken for you... I literally wept with sadness.

If you're ever in the Washington DC area, give me a call and I'll show you the town.

Thanks old friend, i would love to come over and see your city whit you as my tour guide.

Just need to find out what to do whit all the paper work to get divorce, and share my boy whit her.

Hard times...

TD hug